Separated Parents: 8 Tips for Co-Parenting over Christmas

Every family is different and traditions at this time of year such as Christmas traditions, Chanukah traditions and festive celebrations take place differently depending on individual families and their customs.

The build up to the festive season is an enchanting and exciting time for children. However, for parents who are separated, the run up to this period can be a challenging time.

Whether you have been separated for some time, or this is your first period of facing the difficulty of sharing time with your children, there are often disagreements that arise over the arrangements.

Our expert Family Solicitors, Louise Margiotta and Sarina Bailey, share some practical words of advice for co-parenting peacefully and keeping the magic alive for your children.

1. Make Plans in Advance

When sharing time with the children over the school holidays and festive period, it helps to be organised and communicate your plans with each other in plenty of good time. Making arrangements early can help you to plan your activities, family visits and it gives your children time to digest their schedule. If you run into disputes over arrangements, having these conversations early can give you time to resolve them or seek legal advice if required. Don’t leave these conversations to the last minute!

2. Not All Families are the Same

It is important to remember that there is not a ‘one size fits all’ arrangement that works for all separated or blended families. What works for some, might not be suitable for you. Try not to compare what other families are doing and instead focus on what sits comfortably with you and your children.

3. Prepare to be Flexible

Whilst it is ideal to have a plan in place, be mindful that unforeseen events can happen and that those plans may need to be flexible. Changes of plan can be difficult, particularly over the festive period where logistics can be tricky and there are emotions involved, but it is important to remain calm.

4. Make Your Children the Priority

Parents might have their views on what the arrangements for the children should look like but it is important to try to focus on prioritising the children’s needs and wellbeing first. If your children are older, then consider speaking to them and get their ideas on what they might like to do over the holidays, if this is appropriate.

5. Season of Goodwill

It is the time of year to be at peace with one another. That might be easier said than done for parents who are separated and struggling to see eye to eye. But be mindful of what your children could overhear, pick up on or witness over this special time of year. As you should all year round, protect them from any disputes or conflict.

6. Keep Things Fair

It is likely that both sets of parents will want the children to spend time with extended family and friends over the festive period. This can sometimes be difficult to accommodate, especially when there is distance between houses, tight time schedules or lots of family to get round to. Try to find a solution that allows both parents to get equal time.

7. Respect Traditions

You and your ex-partner may have different traditions, celebrations and ideas over the festive period. It is important to be mindful of your differences. Some people can be upset about losing their family traditions that they have, perhaps, carried out for many years prior to the separation, but these can be maintained and sometimes even still done together as a family, if suitable. Communicate any important traditions or aspects of Christmas that are really special to you and respect one another’s requests.

8. Legal Advice for Separated Parents

The festive period is a special time of year for children of all ages. Good communication, considered plans and flexibility can help you co-parent peacefully during this time.

Agreeing on how to divide the festive period between separated parents can be difficult and it is an issue that comes up every year for Family Solicitors.

A child’s religious upbringing is an important part of their background and is a factor that the court will consider when determining which type of order is appropriate. If one parent is acting unilaterally in deciding how a child should take part in religious traditions or you need help resolving a dispute about child arrangements generally, broken court orders or guidance on parental rights, then please get in touch.

If you are recently separated and are considering divorce in the New Year, then speaking to a member of our Family Law Team can help you to understand the process. We offer a fixed fee appointment (either in person, over the phone or remotely) where you can explore your options, understand your rights and consider your next steps.

Call our Family Law Team on 01206 574431 or email enquiries@tsplegal.com.